2011 NL Central

I really don’t give a rat’s rear end about the NL East other than my poor, poor Nationals (Natinals). To be honest, I really don’t care about any of the National League. I know, I know, I know it’s the historic league, the one that still has pitchers hit, the one with the beloved Cubbies, blah blah blah. I don’t care. Pitchers shouldn’t hit. The DH should be standard MLB practice, but it’s fine to keep the distinction between the two leagues (the AL is better anyways). As a baseball fan, however, I’m obligated to check through both leagues. On to the NL Central.
The Cardinals didn’t add a whole lot of pieces in the offseason other than Yankee cast-off Lance Berkman (who they are bizarrely paying $8 million to play the OUTFIELD) and Cubs cast-off Ryan Theriot, who did a marvelous job pissing off many who loved him from 2007-2009 by saying that he was now on the “right side” of the Cubs-Cards rivalry (including myself. Obviously, I’m no Cubs fan. But don’t crap on my city when you leave it. Screw you, Theriot). The biggest story of the Cards offseason was their failure to give Albert Pujols all the dollars he wants (and deserves, frankly. Yes, by the numbers, Pujols deserves to be paid $30 million per season). It’s entirely possible someone (the Cubs) take Pujols away from the Cards when he hits the free agent market. I don’t bet on it though – I’ll say he ends up sacrificing a year or two in order to get to that $30 million per season limit. I’ll say…..7 years, $210 million (again, I’ll ask the question: WHY WASN’T I BORN GOOD AT BASEBALL?!!!?).
They still have Pujols for 2011. When coupled with Matt Holiday in left, Berkman in right and Colby Rasmus in center there’s little doubt the Cardinals will score runs. A rotation that boasts Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright will hold opponents scoring down. Tony LaRussa, penis/drinker extraordinaire will win. But, I don’t think the Cards have the bullpen or defense to win the division. I gotta roll with Brew Crew. Adding Zack Grienke and Shaun Marcum to Yovani Gallardo gives you the best 1-3 in the division (and tie for 2nd best in the NL) and, as Jack Sparrow said, Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun provide serious ‘thump thump’ in the middle of the lineup. Add Corey Hart in right with Casey McGehee at third and this team will do some damage. Like the Cards they are wanting defensively and the bullpen is urpy, but I love what their GM has done. I’mma roll with them.
The Red have Joey Votto (a name I love to sing. Ask me sometime….I’ll do it for ya). And unlike most, I picked them for success last year (don’t worry…I didn’t throw out my arm patting myself on the back there). They can thump, sure. But it’s still Dusty Baker. He still doesn’t value OBP and he still has no clue how to manage a pitching staff. 2011 they fall off. Hard.
The Cubs have made some nice moves this and last offseason, actually. When I thought the Sox (White) were going to leave Konerko behind, I pushed for them to sign Carlos Pena on SouthSideSox.com (GO CHECK IT OUT!). The Cubs got him for a year at $10 million and he’s a good bounce-back bet (really now…dude would have to TRY to hit .198 again with 28 home runs and a .325 OBP (which actually isn’t so terrible, considering the average). Also plucked from the 2010 Tampa Bay Rays is starting pitcher Matt Garza. He fits well with the Cubs rotation. He’s crazy and talented, but mostly crazy. Good luck with that, North Siders. They have a ton of money coming off the books this year so a run at Pujols isn’t crazy. No, seriously. It’s not. Still a 4th place team, unless absolutely EVERYTHING breaks right for them. And I like Starlin Castro a lot moving forward (he’s the new shortstop). See….I have some Cubbie love.
The other two teams in the division (the Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates) really aren’t mentioning, other than to say they exist. What they do can charitably be referred to as ‘play baseball,’ but that’s some Bill Gates-level charity there. Wow, are they both absolute suck fests. Yeesh. Again…I’mma roll with the Brewers to win the division. Grieke and Marcum were both 2010 Opening Day starters for AL clubs and now move to the easier league. They should feast, Braun/Fielder with thump and the Brewers might be able to give the Prince an epic send-off into free agency. Cause mark my words….the Big Man won’t be in Wisconsin come 2012.

2011 Season Preview Part 1

We are less than a week away from the 2nd most beautiful day of the year: Pitcher and Catchers reporting. Yes. Going to start with the NL East this week.
I think I’ve seen enough roster turnover to start making my predications for the coming year (as I’ve already sort of done and as last year’s column shows, I’ve got an okay track record. I admit to underselling the Reds (a tad) and the Rangers, but that’s okay. I said the Giants would win and raise your hand if you thought the Reds would even be good. I was (regrettably) correct about the White Sox, Twins and the mess called the AL East. I don’t know what I was thinking when I picked the Cubs to win the division, though.

AL East: Boston
AL Central: Chicago
AL West: Oakland
AL Wildcard: Yankees

NL East: Phillies
NL Central: Brewers
NL West: Giants
NL Wildcard: Rockies


In the National League East, everyone knows what the Phillies have done. They signed Cliff Lee, who dominated the New York Yankees for them in the 2009 World Series and was yet again very good for the 2010 Texas Rangers in the World Series. While both the Yankees and Rangers offered Lee more money and more years (okay, one more year) than the Phillies, Lee wanted to go someplace that he loved and felt had the best chance to win (only difference between him and LeBron is that he didn’t do it on national TV).
The Phillies starting rotation of Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, Roy Oswalt and Joe Blanton (at least, that’s how they should line up) are the best in the national league. But two are injury concerns while also being inconsistent and if rest of the team on the field is injury prone (Polanco, Utley, Howard, Rollins and Ibanez have all spent time on the DL in the past two season). Every one of the most important players on the team is the wrong side of 30 [that is, over it]. Don’t get me wrong – I like the Phillies and think they have a really good roster. On paper. But I also have them as Team A on my list of ‘most likely to crash and burn’ list (Team B would be the Boston Red Sox for much the same reason – injury potential).
The Atlanta Braves stepped up this offseason and traded for Marlins slugger Dan Uggla who will make the team better with his bat. He’s an awful defensive player (that was him in the 2008 All-Star Game), but for now his offense is enough to help the Braves who can count on growth from another batch of home grown starters and wunderkid Jason Heyward (on the short list of, “Oh my God!!!” players in baseball) [as you can tell, I have a lot of baseball lists….]. Freddy Gonzalez is no Bobby Cox, but since Cox is one of the greatest managers to ever walk the face of the earth, he doesn’t need to be. The Braves improved their roster from a year ago when they made the playoffs over the Padres and should enjoy another wildcard this year.
I’ve been predicting a Marlins run for the last 4 years now, and am going to stop. Hanley Ramirez is on the same list as Heyward, Mike Stanton was rumored to be talked about in exchange for White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen and Gabby Sanchez is probably for real. But no, I refuse to let the Marlins be a cruel mistress to me again. They are a talented roster with a cheap-as-Scrooge owner and a shrewd front office. I’ll give them 88-90 wins, but no playoffs. The Mets still have David Wright, so they have a pretty face on the field. But oh boy….is there a whole lot of badness in Queens otherwise. Johan is breaky, there’s no one else in the rotation (the Chris Young signing isn’t bad though) and the bullpen is a mess. Plus, you know, they are the Mets. So, good luck with that.
As for my actual favorite NL team, things are looking up. Yes, they gave out the winter’s worst contract (7 years, $126 million for Jayson Werth) after totally screwing up at the trade deadline and not trading Adam Dunn, but the future in Washington looks good (think 2012/13). Bryce Harper will be up and slugging at a corner outfield spot (I’m thinking left), Stephen Strasberg (who was just damn brilliant before his arm got hurt) will be back, plus they’ll have other top draft picks coming out of the pipeline and a healthy Ryan Zimmerman (criminally underrated) and Jayson Werth (a really, really good player, just not for 7 years and $126 million) around. Just won’t be a pretty 2011. But get ready America….the Nationals wont’ be a laughing stock forever.